| 1. | - How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?- Two. One to launch it, one to watch CNN to find out where it l... more |
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| 2. | - How many Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb?- That is a military secret. If I told you Id have to kill you... more |
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| 3. | - How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?- None. People that glow in the dark dont need... more |
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| 4. | - What do you think about the coming battle, General?- God knows it will be lost.- Then why should we go for it?- To fin... more |
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| 5. | - When the general comes, report to me immediately. The general doesnt show. The sergeant gets nervous and every hour re... more |
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| 6. | - Who likes music? - asks a commander.- Two soldiers step forward.- All right. I bought a piano. Take it to my apartment... more |
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| 7. | A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didnt notice a chimpanzee, escap... more |
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| 8. | A draftee went in for his physical wearing a truss and with a little convincing acting got his papers marked M.E. for Me... more |
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| 9. | A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I... more |
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| 10. | A general calls a colonel:- Do you have a couple of smart majors?- Yes I do.- Send them to me. I need to move my furnitu... more |
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| 11. | A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and s... more |
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| 12. | A Maintenance Battalion in Germany had just received a brand new Executive Officer, an Armor Major. The Major proceeded... more |
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| 13. | A patrol of allied soldiers were in a ruined city during World War Two. They are bragging and joshing about how many kil... more |
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| 14. | A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room.- Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant.-... more |
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| 15. | A retired sergeant was asked: "Well, how do you like civilian life?""Terrible," he said gruffly, "all those people aroun... more |
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| 16. | A sailor in the Navy who had been at sea for a long time was anxious to be reunited with his girlfriend, so he sent her... more |
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| 17. | A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally lo... more |
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| 18. | A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant:- I cant drink from this mug. It has no opening.The sergeant ex... more |
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| 19. | A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his fr... more |
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| 20. | A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "M... more |
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| 21. | A trooper asks a sergeant:- Is it true that man descended from a monkey?- Yes, troopers possibly were. But not sergeants... more |
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| 22. | A warrant officer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, Ill turn into a b... more |
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| 23. | A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain. "What would you do if a sudden storm sprang... more |
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| 24. | Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especi... more |
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| 25. | Airmen had to launch two E-3 AWACS from a National Guard base after a heavey snow strom. Well after a 5 hour delay waiti... more |
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| 26. | An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck t... more |
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| 27. | An airforce officer goes to heaven and at the gate St Peter asks him if he has ever done anything in his life that he be... more |
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| 28. | An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was no... more |
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| 29. | An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just... more |
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| 30. | As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to t... more |
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