| 1. | "Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow." "OK, son," said his da... more |
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| 2. | "What makes you think the prisoner was drunk?" asked the judge. "Well, Your Honor," replied the arresting officer, "I sa... more |
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| 3. | A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet... more |
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| 4. | A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy, Having heard what happens to geeks in... more |
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| 5. | A mafiosos son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good... more |
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| 6. | A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed."Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain."Yes... more |
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| 7. | A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off. "Shall I run and get it for you?" asked the pri... more |
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| 8. | A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.For years, for thousands of hours, he worked wi... more |
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| 9. | A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car... Who is driving the car?A police officer!... more |
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| 10. | A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifte... more |
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| 11. | A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!" "Dont you mean... more |
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| 12. | A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "Theres a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morni... more |
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| 13. | An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day w... more |
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| 14. | Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?Joe: I won it in a race. Bill: How many people participated in it? Joe: Thre... more |
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| 15. | Criminal: Why dont you hire these twins for the robbery, boss?Criminal Boss: Im afraid of a double-cross.... more |
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| 16. | Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs?Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.... more |
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| 17. | Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."... more |
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| 18. | Detective: Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.... more |
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| 19. | Did you hear about the burglar who fell in the cement mixer? Now hes a hardened criminal.... more |
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| 20. | Did you hear about the calendar thief?He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered!... more |
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| 21. | Fred: We had a burglary last night, and they took everything except the soap and towels. Harry: The dirty crooks.... more |
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| 22. | How do bank robbers send messages?By flee mail!... more |
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| 23. | I think I hear burglars, dear. Are you awake? No!... more |
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| 24. | If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man, what would you have?Organised grime (crime).... more |
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| 25. | It was Rockys first night in the penitentiary. All of the inmates were intheir cells and he was trying to become a bit m... more |
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| 26. | Its a pity youve gone on hunger strike, said the convicts girlfriend on visiting day. Why ? Ive put a file in your cake.... more |
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| 27. | Judge: Tell me your occupation. Prisoner; Im a locksmith, Your Honour. Judge: Then what were you doing in a jewellery sh... more |
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| 28. | Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark, sir.... more |
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| 29. | Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why didnt you take the food instead of the c... more |
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| 30. | Knock KnockWhos there !Burglar !Burglar who ?Burglars dont knock !... more |
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