| 1. | "Why did your boyfriend return his Christmas tie?" "He said it was too tight."... more |
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| 2. | A football supporters favourite Christmas song?Yule never walk alone... more |
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| 3. | A group of mountain climbers once heard Father Christmas go past.They must have had sharp ears!They were mountain-ears!... more |
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| 4. | A rabbits favourite Christmas song?Lettuce with a gladsome mind... more |
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| 5. | Can I have a broken drum for Christmas?The best thing you could have asked for. You cant beat it!... more |
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| 6. | Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!.Father Christmas: Cant do that one. He hasnt said... more |
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| 7. | Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door.Yours, Sherlock HolmesWatson: So why do you... more |
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| 8. | Did you hear about Draculas Christmas party ?It was a scream !... more |
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| 9. | Did you hear about the stupid turkey?It was looking forward to Christmas!... more |
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| 10. | Did you hear that one of Santas reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its true....Comet cleans sinks!... more |
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| 11. | Doctor, Doctor Im scared of Father ChristmasDoctor: Youre suffering from Claus-trophobia.... more |
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| 12. | Doctor, Doctor, Father Christmas gives us oranges every Christmas. Now I think Im turning into an orange!Have you tried... more |
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| 13. | Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking Im a Christmas bell!Just take these pills - and, if they dont work, give me a ring!... more |
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| 14. | Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I cant sleep.Try lying on the edge of your bed...youll soon drop of... more |
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| 15. | ELF NO. 1: What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve? ELF NO. 2: Okay everyone, sack time!!... more |
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| 16. | Elf: My favourite film is about the man who casts spells in the middle of a swamp.Father Christmas: Thats called The Wiz... more |
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| 17. | ELF: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do? SANTA: Use a pen.... more |
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| 18. | Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you cant tell me why he does that... more |
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| 19. | Father Christmas has two reindeer. He calls one Edward and the other one Edward! I bet you cant tell me why he does that... more |
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| 20. | Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didnt get wet! Why not?Because it wasnt raining!... more |
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| 21. | Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.Now thats what you call pot luck !... more |
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| 22. | Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.Box office attendant: Then youd better watch out... ther... more |
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| 23. | Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream?Lady: You certainly did!Fathe... more |
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| 24. | Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?Gnome : Put a five pound note between his... more |
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| 25. | Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow!Im on my way, Father Christmas.Father Christm... more |
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| 26. | Father Christmas: Whats your favourite Christmas story?Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge!Father Christma... more |
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| 27. | Father Christmas: Whats your favourite Christmas story?Elf: The one where the three creatures are scared of the Big Bad... more |
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| 28. | Father Christmas:I like the story about the girl who steals from the rich and gives it all to Granny.Elf: Thats Little R... more |
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| 29. | How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?Chick to chick !... more |
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| 30. | How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ?A merry Christmas to ewe... more |
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